There is a talk about it everywhere today, #consent, #consensual sex, #consent in a relationship . But do we really know what is the meaning if it , what it implies and what not? Is it a blanket term for everything related to intimacy or sex ?
· When a 17 year old is making out with her boyfriend and both feel ready for the next level, it clearly is implied that she is consenting for #sex in most cases. Sometimes they may talk about it , sometimes things happen spontaneously.
But then there are other things which are not thought of but are happening between couples…
· Filming or recording is one of them, most couples don’t talk about it , just do it for fun! Some regret later when their intimate moments are shared online deliberately or accidently.
· Sharing nudes is pretty common since the invent of Whatsapp and forwarding them is even simpler, did you agree for that??
· Sex without a condom and forcing or implying to take an Ipill afterwards is most common issue faced by girls or even mature women , since the responsibility of contraception is supposed to be borne by women , right? And further issues like side effect of pills…no ones talking about that …
These days internet porn is the major source of sex education for everyone, which shows anal sex as something routine or usual , but did anyone ask if she wants to try or just assumed as she was making out with you?
Anus lacks the natural lubricant that vagina has, a slight injury can cause pain , bleeding and expose one to various STD’s including HIV .
Lot of women visit doctors for anal fissure and are too ashamed to mention it was caused by anal sex or an attempt to do it.
· Men like drunk partners more as they are not in the right mind to give consent or deny either, nor they are in a position to retaliate in any way . Know what you are consuming and your capacity to consume it .
Ladies, understand what consent or permission means, what are the things you are willing or open to try and feel confident about and what is it that you simply don’t wish to do bearing in mind that its not the test of your love or loyalty to your partner rather its a matter of your individual choice and comfort here.
Consent is something that can be withdrawn and mind can be changed if you don’t feel its safe or right, remember that.
Lets educate ourselves and the girls around us before its too late and they hurt yourself physically or emotionally . And remember CONSENT CAN BE NO ! CONSENT CAN BE WITHDRAWN!
Be Safe !
Dr Anshita Singh Rathore
BHMS, MD, CCN,CYT, DCC